I am getting to realize that I could identify the third week of August even if I had no access to a calendar. It's when I realize that I am, quite simply, DONE.
Within the last two weeks I've been feeling increasingly despondent and frustrated. With the girls and with myself. Our days have been punctuated by tears and shouting. I've hesitated blogging about it, not wanting to commit this to the blog for perpetuity. After all, the college admissions people need not know that their mother thought her girls (at ages 5 & 7) were anything less than angelic.
Last week, still in the throes of my funk, I picked up the books that I had ordered from the library. The librarian just smiled at me as she handed over "How to Talk so Your Kids will Listen and Listen so Your Kids will Talk" and "Siblings Without Rivalry."
On Tuesday we went to the pool with our friends the J's. And I realized that it's not just my girls...it's everyone. All four kids were out of sorts at the pool; tears and pouting were the order of business. And as Laura and I talked, the phrase "I'm DONE" came out of her mouth.
We laughed together but it hit me. The tears, fighting and whining isn't exclusive to our family. It's not all my fault, nor is it evidence that I am a horrible mother and am raising devil spawn. It's epidemic (at least around here) at the end of the summer, and exacerbated by being in close quarters with each other for weeks on end.
Yesterday we went back to the pool with the O's and it was different. Not just because they have three boys. Definitely there were no tears, but more of the change was within ME. Thinking about it today, I see that I've realized that this is just one of those things that happens around here in late August. So this morning, with just one week to go before Gillian and Holly get on that big yellow bus, I'm not mad. I'm not frustrated. I guess it's acceptance, with a touch of melancholy, that summer is almost over and we're going to have this one last week together. And I want to make it good.
So I'm having another cup of coffee while I plan our day. And I'm not crying anymore. Until the second week of Christmas break, that is.
Bug Wars
16 years ago
4 comments:
oooh, as I sit here with my drawings all soaked in coffee, I'm smiling knowing that things there are going smoother...
You are not alone - it's the same way with deployments. As a severe generalization, I think deployments hit the stay-at-homes much harder than the few of us that work. That doesn't mean that one side misses their husbands more or that the other side copes better, it's just different. It's all so intense being together day in and day out and there's just a few outlets for both sides.
So stay a little longer with that second cup of coffee - someone else understands!
Ali! And here I thought it was just me being stressed, pregnant and dealing with a 4 and 2 yr old!! Even Maeve told me "Mommy, sometimes you are really really nice, but sometimes all you do is holler"... oye! So I hear ya sista! You are not alone, and I am happy to hear I am not either!
Me too. I thought I'd be heartbroken to have my baby leave me for school, for her to be gone so many hours every day when we have spent so much time together. But instead I found myself excited at the prospect and enjoying the me time. We were both ready for it.
Holy smokes and I thought it was just my kids. My daughter (5) was driving me nuts and it hit me when she said, "Mom, why are you yelling so much? You never yell." Double Oy.
Thanks for posting and now that she is in school again, things are much better. It must be that 3rd week in August!
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