Not our day

I have a bunch of vacation posts nearly done, but just came home from the pool really upset and have to vent.

The pool is not in our town, but there are a lot of families from town at the pool. Our closest friends who belong have kids Holly's age. Most of the kids we know who are Gillian's age are boys, and I thought she got along great with them.

We were there early this morning for swim lessons, and came home for lunch and the library, planning on returning mid-afternoon. We had left a message for one of Gillian's friends to see if she could join us today or Friday. No return call, so we headed back out anyway.

It was a gorgeous day, and the pool was pretty crowded. I surfed, looking for a chair, but to no avail. Parked myself on a bench and figured I'd keep scanning. None of the kids' close friends were there, but there's almost always someone we know to play with. My kindergarten co-class mom was there, and I said hi. She has boys who were in class with both our girls this year. She asked where we were sitting and I said I was looking for a chair. She gave me one of hers, and I protested. I felt like a mooch. So I set up about 10 feet from her. My girls were running around with her boys, and it seemed all was well.

I checked in with the girls, and settled in with my book. Then I realize the older boy and his friend have run up to the mom and are saying how they are trying to "hide" from and "get away from Gillian." They didn't realize I was sitting there. After a few minutes, I slid from my chair and went looking for G. I tried to encourage her to play with her sister. She said she was looking for the boys; clearly she wanted no part of me. I found her again following them under a tree where they were playing a DS game. They were visibly trying to box her out, and she wasn't getting it. Finally I got her away from them and tried to explain as gently as I could what I had heard. She was pretty upset with me, but went off toward the pool to find Holly.

The boys have an older sister who just finished fourth grade. When I got back to my chair she asked me where Gillian is because she and her (older) (female) friend wanted to play with her. I suspect the mom put her up to it, but maybe I'm just upset and over-reacting, and she was just being nice.

During this saga, another mom from kindergarten (who also has a second grade son) came, and said hello. And I didn't realize it, but one of this woman's friends had arrived as well.

This third woman and I have a long history. When Gillian and her son were 2 & 3, they would play. The mom was divorced and going back to school, and I would often watch her son for her. He had a lot of behavior issues, and we gradually drifted to acquaintance status. Last year he was in class with Gillian, and the problems started again. He was in pretty serious trouble a couple of times and each time tried to implicate Gillian. The mom was calling me, basically saying that Gillian was involved and she should be punished. In these conversations, she was saying terrible things about the teacher, who I really admired and who was up for tenure. She was running her mouth like this all over town. I knew I didn't want any part of her kind of BS.

Then last year we were both at a Memorial Day party. Everybody was having a good time, we stayed later than we intended and had a few more than we intended. At one point I slipped and fell; the floors were wet from the kids coming in and out of the pool. I didn't find out until the following week, but apparently this woman was laughing and berating me. I mean, REALLY. What is this, high school? I was pretty destroyed and worked hard to avoid her all last summer.

Then in the fall I get this phone call from her, accusing me of trash-talking about her to another woman. I was really upset about the whole thing, which ultimately resulted in her texting about me to a couple of people when a group of us were out for dinner and drinks together. Evidently she accused several other people. But REALLY. I swore I was done, but I was going to be civil. When I ran into her at school a couple of weeks later, I said hi, and she gave me a filthy look and ignored me. So much for being civil.

I came face to face with her in the school office in late spring, and politely greeted her. To my surprise she responded, and mentioned some troubles her parents were having. I told her I hoped things got better soon. I felt relieved; maybe all the drama was over.

So here she and her son are, newly joined to the pool. Ward saw them on Sunday. And today she sits down, not even fifteen feet from me and totally ignores me. After the whole thing with Gillian all I wanted to do was leave. But we stayed until 3:30, as we planned.

I'm SO not good at this shit. I feel like I can bear it if people don't like me. But I can't take it if they don't like my kids. And, goddamn it, at least I didn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me or my kids cry. You guys, my friends, get that.

Thanks for reading.