Murphy's Friday

Here's the saga of our departure day. No one will believe it anyway.

Friday, November 16th, 2007

7:50am Dovie rips a toenail coming in the back door like a maniac.
7:52 Blood gushing from his foot.
7:53 Where is the styptic powder?!
7:54 Page the vet. Bandage Dovie.
8:08 Take Gillian to the bus. Leave Ward to answer page from vet.
8:28 Back home. No call from vet. Dog has eaten bandage.
8:29 Call vet again and get receptionist who says they can see him at 11:45! Dog is still bleeding heavily. Get yelly at receptionist.
8:38 Vet returns page. Grr. Must get new vet. Vet says no one will be in the office until 9:15-9:30. Dog eats second bandage.
8:54 Ward leaves with Dovie to sit in the waiting room of the vet, which should properly convey sense of urgency.
10:30 Ward and Dovie home. Emergency anesthesia and cautery completed.
10:32 Leave with Holly for dance class. Ward takes dog to kennel.
12:40pm Home. Things seem stable. Foolish me.

3:00 Parent-teacher conference re: Gillian. Turns out to be brightest point in day.

3:54 Holly floods downstairs bathroom after flushing "a lot" of tissues.
3:55 Mopping.
3:57 Plunging unsuccessful. Decide to deal with it next week.
4:02 Load kids into packed car.
4:05 Depart Pottersville.

5:20 Pennsylvania. Route 78, just east of milepost 30. Uh oh, traffic slowing.
5:25 Traffic stopped. Road construction. On a Friday night. In rush hour.
6:35 Finally out of traffic.

7:30 Harrisburg. So sleepy. Need coffee. Oh! A Borders!
7:34 Where is Holly's coat? Where is Holly's bedtime buddy "Pup Pup?!" Where is Holly's Game Boy and bag of toys!?! Frickety frockety!!!!!
7:38 In Borders, get coffee. Buy whichever stuffed animal Holly wants. Shopping center has both Kohl's and Target, coat-buying mission should be simple.
7:39 Hmm. Kohl's is closer. Target will be cheaper. Hmm.
7:40 Decide Gillian and I will go ahead to store and pick out coat. Ward will move Holly in warm car and meet there.
7:41 We head for Kohl's. At this hour, closer trumps cheaper.
7:42 Ward and Holly head for Target. No one notices us walking in the opposite direction.
8:10 In store with daughter. Where is her Dad/Mom and sister?
8:20 Check parking lot. No sign of our car at Borders or Kohl's.
8:22 Gillian begins to cry. Finally realize Ward has gone to Target. We are idiots. Tired, pathetic idiots.
8:24 Use my cell phone to call directory assistance.
8:23 Directory assistance reports that there is no Target at this address. Can SEE Target across the mega-box-center parking lot. Perhaps it's a mirage.
8:24 Curse directory assistance. Wish Ward carried cell phone. Start crying.
8:25 Decide not to try to walk to Target as Ward will surely drive a different route, and appear at Kohl's 5 minutes after our departure.
8:30 Call 911 and ask for police to help. Dispatcher asks for information including description of Ward. Imagine that they think he either has wandered off or left me intentionally. Start to cry again.
8:32 Dispatcher tells me to calm down and go inside Kohl's. Obstinately tell her we will stand outside Borders because parking lot is visible from there.
8:37 Ward and Holly pull up in front of Borders. I do not throw myself under the car.

10:24 Arrive Winchester, Virginia. Holiday Inn Express has a room.
10:26 Girls wake up and have energy to burn.
10:30 Hotel room. Must get bottles of beer from car.
10:32 Put on TV in darkened room (America's Funniest Videos) to lull everyone to a happier slumber.
11:30 Lights out.